Mischief, She Wrote
by Rosa Clearwater
Summary: It was a pleasant, summery day. The perfect day to go sailing up the coast or strolling down the harbor with amiable company. This was a day to stand outside, to bask in the warmth of the sun, to smell the sea breeze that drifted onto the roses, and to enjoy life. (Part of my AO3 Mischievous Misquotation Collection. A little Seth and Jess fluff, Seth/Jess if you squint)


A/N: Today's mischievous installment features a quotation from _Friends_ and the fandom of choice is….. Murder She Wrote! In order to make this work, I've had to mess around a little bit with dates and concepts. Nevertheless, enjoy :)

Quotation of this week:

"Condoms?"

"We don't know how long we're gonna be in here. We might have to repopulate the world."  
"And condoms are the way to do that?" - _Friends_

…

It was a pleasant, summery day. The perfect day to go sailing up the coast or strolling down the harbor with amiable company. This was a day to stand outside, to bask in the warmth of the sun, to smell the sea breeze that drifted onto the roses, and to enjoy life.

No murders would encroach on the small town of Cabot Cove today, no sir. And if anyone even thought about committing any sort of crime that would force Seth away from this glorious day, well, he would just have to give them a piece of his mind.

The good doctor chuckled to himself, picturing that scene in his mind.

And then he saw her.

And, suddenly, his breath was stolen. The thoughts of potential crimes and outlandish jokes abandoned his thoughts. And the scent of roses and fresh air gave way to her.

Jessica Beatrice Fletcher was not always around these days. New York, and the rest of the world, had stolen most of his friend's time. However, as much as he didn't like to let her go, Seth Hazlitt also knew that Jessica was - and still is- a fiercely independent woman. She would be kind and she would be gentle, but she would also do whatever she wanted and there was no way on Earth you'd _want_ to take that independence away from her.

It's one of the reasons why he loved her.

No, he wasn't foolishly in love like so many of those young folk today. He wasn't desperate for a lusty sort of experience with her or for some haphazardly passionate moment.

He just loved her.

"Seth Hazlitt, are you going to just stand there or are you actually going to greet your old, dear friend?" That wonderful voice took him away from his reverie, and for that he was grateful. Why get lost in the past when the present was there for his enjoyment? But then, his brain caught up with the moment and he almost scoffed at her remark.

"Jess, you are indeed one of my dearest friends." A hint of a blush appeared at this unusually candid response. "But old? Never!" She just laughed, and his heart soared at such a carefree sound. The typical sounds of their little town were pleasant reminders of tranquility. But her laugh was definitely far more uplifting, filling him with exuberance.

And soon the soft, gentle embrace - a friendly hug between dear friends - was another pleasant experience to behold.

"It's been far too long."

"Ayuh!" It had only been a few weeks since the last visit, but he wholeheartedly agreed. Arms extended and joined together, ready for a comfortable stroll down their humble little town.

They chatted of adventures new and old, of a world preparing for the new century while still living in the old. She chided him for still being obstinate with technology, he gruffly responded in turn - and, yet, harshness was always an act towards her. All in all, their normal banter never took any time to bring back for it was certainly an innate part of their relationship.

"Jessica! Oh, Jessica!" They had both paused, and he strongly had to resist the urge to roll his eyes and keep walking.

But, even if he had done so, Eve Simpson wouldn't have let that stop her.

"How long has it been since you've dropped by Loretta's, Jessica?" His sweet friend turned to the cheerfully nosy woman, a pleasant smile upon her face. One of his dear friend's flaws - other than stubbornness and an unnecessary knack for trouble - was that she was a social swan, always attracting attention and almost always graceful enough to kindly respond to said attention.

"I'm sure it's been much too long," _No it hasn't. Why do we have to go there_ now _?_

And, sure enough, five minutes later and Seth was wistfully watching sunny day through the windows of Loretta's beauty parlor. Much to his irritation, smells of hair chemicals, nail polish, and beauty supplies buzzed around Seth. All the regulars were swarming Jessica with questions about her latest travels. Gossip Central clearly was lacking with information, because they were desperate enough to ask her not only about her latest experiences abroad, but also her latest experiences with _men_.

The topic was too embarrassing for Seth to witness. So, much so that he found himself focusing on the TV.

It was that show - _Buds_ or _Friends_? - and while he never personally cared for whatever it was, it was probably something he could watch for a few moment.

" _Hey, Joey's ass."_ _Did she just say-_ Seth kept watching, horrified that such language would be condoned on television these days.

" _Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, well I figured it was gonna happen again, you know?"_ Some young man was standing in what seemed to a bedroom with a bunch of people Seth hoped to be were his friends. They soon were opening a box of who-knows-what and Seth couldn't help but keep watching out of curiosity. Curiosity and the the fact that the gossip vultures were still at it with Jessica, that is.

" _Condoms?"_ The good doctor blinked in surprise at this topic, not knowing where this television conversation might lead to and not really wanting to know.

" _We don't know how long we're gonna be in here. We might have to repopulate the world._ " He was now watching the screen in mild horror, even as he heard titters of laughter from some of the women in the room.  
" _And condoms are the way to do that?"_ Well, at least the fellow in the blue sweater seemed to have some intelligence.

"Well, I'm sure Dr. Hazlitt has an idea or two!" Eve said suggestively. Now he turned away from the TV in confusion, wondering what the devil he missed. Jessica was simply looking at him with a sweet smile, with eyes asking him not to judge the gossipers too harshly.

And with a smile like that, how could he refuse?

"Yes, well, we best be off, Jess."

"Right you are, Seth." She turned back to her audience, now with an apologetic smile written in her face. "I'm quite sorry, ladies, but Seth and I have some errands to run so we've got to get a move on." _Errands_?

But before he knew it their arms were looped back together and they were on their way out. So who was he to question what errands they'd soon be running.

"Don't they make the cutest couple?" He heard someone whisper right as the door closed, but it was too late for a brusque response because Jessica was already whisking him back down the road and towards the coast. They carried on in silence for a few moments, as he tried to process what just happened.

"I do hope you don't mind the little white lie I told them: I didn't have any errands planned today." She softly spoke, with a hint of a sheepish tone though she knew fully well he was grateful to escape the beauty shop.

"Well, you know my opinion of that Gossip Central." She chuckled at this, and looked right at him. He turned his head in kind as they kept walking, comforting peace twinkling in both of their eyes as they trekked on in amiable silence.

"Doc! Mrs. F!" As much Seth had begun to appreciate Mort Metzger over the years, he just wanted alone time with Jessica. But, then again, the Sheriff's company was infinitely preferable to Eve's.

Metzger jogged over to them, a kind and understanding gleam in his eyes. He briefly met Seth's gaze and nodded in greeting before turning to the woman of the hour.

"How have you been, Mrs. F?" She beamed at the sight of another dear friend, before leaning in ever so slightly.

"Tired!" She confessed to him with a small smile. Now while Seth was a little concerned about this remark - he had noticed the effects of age hint in his dear friend, after all - he was also pleased to indirectly get such a straightforward response.

That's not to say that Jess ever lied to him. Rather that was to say that she knew he would be concerned if she admitted to anything less than stellar health. And, so, Jess didn't lie so much as she didn't tell the whole story.

"How have you been, Mort?"

"Well, Mrs. F, I've been good. But Adele's..." Ah, yes, another Adele update. Seth had gotten his a few days ago when he bumped into Mort at the store. Since this would not be new information for him, the good doctor was content to tune out for a moment.

Instead of listening, he observed his two friends. And, though most of his attention was centered on Jess, both of his friends seemed to be in good health. There were, of course, signs of stress and age in both of them, but that was to be expected.

"Oh, Sheriff! I was wondering if I could- Oh, hello, Jessica!" Metzger was tolerable company. Eve and Gossip Central was considerably less so. But the frustratingly bubbly Mayor of Cabot Cove would not be the reason he didn't get to enjoy Jessica's wonderful company today.

"Jessica's doing great, Sam, and I'm sure would love to talk to you again at some point," Now he was hurriedly leading Jessica away, "But we have to go and I'm sure your business with the Sheriff can't wait any longer." Yes, it was a rather rude of him to be so abrupt and not properly converse with Sam. But what was the point of having a reputation of being a curmudgeon if you couldn't act the part from time to time?

They finally made it to the Harbor, and Seth thanked the Lord that it was virtually empty.

"It's like everyone and their mother is out today," He grumbled, but was soon put at ease by a gentle hand placing itself on top of their linked arms.

"Now all we need is a murder." She jested goodnaturedly.

"Don't you start, Jess! That is the _last_ thing we need."

It was now shifting from a morning glow to an afternoon haze. Indeed, most of the morning was now lost to the couple. But that didn't deter Seth. He was determined to enjoy today and he was especially determined to appreciate Jessica. His gaze returned to her as she looked out into the water, glowing with contentment.

Suddenly, the growling of a stomach loudly filled the air. A pair of eyes widened in embarrassment while another pair turned to look at the culprit with humor.

"Why didn't you tell me you were hungry, Seth?"

…

A/N: At some point, I'm going to branch out with these the stories - not just fluff, but silly, quirky, and maybe even dark pieces. However, I try to match the tone of the fandom that's chosen, so we'll see what happens.

So, now that you have an idea of how this series is going to work, here's our next quotation to work with:

"Then I'd hide in the linen closet and wait for her to find me!"

"Dressed like that?"

"Actually, no. At the time, I was wearing only my eyepatch. Although, technically is it still an eyepatch if you're wearing it on your-"

"Stop!" - _Frasier_

And our fandoms to choose from this week are:

Star Trek: TOS

Harry Potter

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Chuck

Voting will stop at 12pm PST on Wednesday, 07/26/17. Whether you vote or not, have a nice day!


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